The Bank Whisperer

It's taken me years to train my bank. They were under the impression that I put money in, they keep it. Puleaseee...how lame.

Course some of them are grasshoppers, so not wanting to embarrass the new kid on the block, I pulled her aside last week and whispered, "Now honey, here's how it goes. I put money in, I spend it. And sometimes, I spend more than what's in there. 'K?" You could tell she was new by the puzzled look on her face. Give her a few withdrawals, and she'll catch on.

Come on people, it isn't like they don't have bunches and bunches. I bet if they looked closer at some other accounts, they'd find extra and there you go; problem solved. Do I have to teach them everything? Oh well, you know meeee, I dooo what I cannnn.

Yesterday I drove up to the window to cash a check. I could tell they were so glad to see me because every single teller in the place, plus the prez, two unknown customers, and the janitor came running over and stood around as she pushed out that drawer thingy. Warms your heart doesn't it?

Somehow they've gotten the impression I'm rich. They must have because I overheard one of them say, "If there's a pool, I want in on it." Ahhh, you guys! Aren't they just the nicest things?

I know they were sad to see me leave too because all smiles dropped when she gave me my cash. Sigh.

Just call me the Queen of Withdrawals.

My bank does.

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