Friday, June 04, 2010

TGIF (Thank Goodness I'm [NOT] a Farmer)

TGIF to all you growers and farmers out there. I'm a farmer. Or at least I thought I was.

How hard can it be to grow tomatoes? VERY. You have to do stuff.

I thought you just bought some patio tomato plants, slapped those babies in a pot, watered them when you thought about it, (but not before coffee) and...boda bing boda boom! You got tomatoes!


First of all, a word from the not so wise. Make sure you read the label on the plants at Wally World before you buy. If they don't say Patio, then you've just bought a tree.

Second, you really do have to water them. Every day. Just like the cat.

And third, don't get more than one. OMG! I have a forest. I remember thinking "Why just get one, or two, GET SIX! Oh look, cucumbers!"

So if you're looking for me and can't find me, stroll through the bushes on my "patio" or just follow the strings of dental floss until you find a coffee cup. I'm attached to it. Dental floss is the new duct tape cause people, duct tape won't fix that. And what may I ask are "cages?" Good grief, there's just too much technical stuff to this farming gig.

From now on, the only tomatoes I want to see are on an All-You-Can-Eat buffet. That goes for cukes, too.

You say tomato, I say, what the devil was I thinking?

JJ--the farmer in the dell...which, by the way, starts with an H.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear ya sistah...I remember my early days of "farming" at home and I did the same thing - if one is good six HAS to be better. Years (and tears) later, I know to get ONE and even at that it's tough for me and hubby to keep up with all the ripe ones! Anyway, I'm thinking this will be "The Summer JJ Learns About Farming" - and hey you can always set up a driveway-side stand with your extra veggies!


3:06 PM  
Blogger Queen Jaw Jaw said...

Oh cool! I never thought of that. What should I charge for the added duct tape and dental floss?

3:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We bought one (1!) upside-down-tomato planter this year and it's doing really well so far. We won't see tomatoes on it for another month or so, so won't REALLY know how well we did until they do (or don't) show up! At least we didn't have to use duct tape yet. Our tiny backyard has been taken over by raspberry plants that hubby's been transplanting everywhere there's a spare patch of earth. LOL. It looks like a jungle out there.


3:35 PM  
Blogger Queen Jaw Jaw said...

Sharon, it IS a jungle out there. I'm thinking with this new forest, I need a Smokey the Bear outfit. Or better yet, some matches.

4:18 PM  
Blogger Ruth said...

We planted a garden a few years back, except it was more like half our backyard. We thought we were being so cool with 2 rows of tomatoes, 2 rows of corn, a couple of rows of squash, and some other stuff. Well, the tomatoes that the birds didn't eat got taken over by hornworms, the corn got rust, and squash got eaten by something (not us). So we're back to buying veggies at the store.

8:33 PM  
Blogger Queen Jaw Jaw said...

Ruth, I think they should rename "Gardens" to "Blood, Sweat, and Tears." I'm with you. Buy it at the store. Especially now that I've discovered I have the fattest rabbit in town. She eats better than I do.

7:23 AM  

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