Monday, May 31, 2010

All Humorists Go to Heaven ... and other Queenisms

I have a new book coming out soon. Well, as soon as I can get past the dangling participles, and finish my comma therapy.

My editor says he loves me because the laughs I deliver aren't from my stories, but from the edits. Seems I'll be putting yet another of his children through college.

But it's true, it's true! I'm so close to the finish line (pun intended) that I don't care what's dangling. And it's only taken me nearly five years to complete. I've uh...been pacing myself. Like when I do housework.

While my kids give me boo-coo's of writing material, and so do my family/friends, it seems they've started hanging up on me when I call. Chickens...

The conversations go something like this:

SISTER: (pick one, I have four): Hello.

ME: Y-ell-O!

SISTER: Oh, it's you.

ME: Well now, that's a heck of a way to greet your sister. Did we get up on the wrong side of Mr. Coffee this morning, hm?

SISTER: Silence.

ME: Hello?

SISTER: I'm here.

ME: So-oooo...what's new? Been fishing lately? (see previous blog)

SISTER: Silence.

ME (exasperated): Well fine then, you big chicken. I'm so glad we had this chance to share. And by the way, I'm the one who spied on you and ____ in the 7th grade and squealed to Daddy. (Sticking out tongue at phone).

SISTER: Click.

No matter. I have three more sisters to go...and then there's YOU, dear reader. I'll be calling soon so remember; if you don't answer, I know where you live.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Needless to say I'm thrilled about the new book...! You're right about your life - it's given you a lot of wonderful material to work with....LOL I'm just sitting here thinking about all the secrets I've told you through the years and hoping you have forgotten them all. tee hee


10:39 AM  
Blogger Queen Jaw Jaw said...

Whattt? You've never heard the saying, "Tell the Times, tell the Trades, tell da Queen?" Be afraid.

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Karen Gilliam said...

Be sure to let us all know when it comes out! I want to pick up a copy.

12:58 PM  
Blogger Queen Jaw Jaw said...

Will do Karen, but you'll probably hear me shouting all the way up in Tennessee!

4:56 PM  

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