I dooo what I cannn...

When my friends turn to me to gripe, I immediately launch into my Pollyanna mode. I try to point out the blessing in every angst, every "poor me," sob, and every fault they find with themselves, or their circumstances.

I dole out advice when advice isn't what they want, or need. They are always polite and always thank me...and I say, "Oh don't thank me, I dooo what I cannn"...Annoyingly, it seems.

Just recently, a friend lashed out over her dog peeing on everything. I said, "You have a dog. I miss Trixie every day."

She said, "But he pees on my rugs and hardwood floors." I said, "Oh I wish I could afford the rugs, and the hardwood."

She said, "But my hubby drives me nuts with his Quasimodo ways." Thinking myself clever and witty, I replied, "Does he ring bells, too?" Quickly she said, "No, but he does push all of my buttons!"

She said, "Have you ever had a friend you loved, but hated." Thinking she wanted my wisdom, I said, "No, hate is a strong word. But I've had ones that made it hard to love them."

She said, "You make it hard for me to love you."

Yikes! Point taken.

When friends call or "instant message" you to say they're having a bad day, lose the Pollyanna.

Just listen. In this case, silence really would have been golden. She is a wonderful friend, a good listener, and didn't need my advice. She needed a friend to say..."I hear ya Hun...buy some dogie diapers, redecorate the house, put hubby in a locked tower with bells and a short rope, then...eat some Oreo's."

It's what REAL friends do.

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