Friday, October 07, 2005

All Things NEW

Routine is a good thing. It keeps us in line, and helps us to remember. "Us" being the older generation who have misplaced their short-term memory. You know, the ones who walk in a room, stop, and say, "Now what the heck did I come in here for?"

I like routine. I know I'm suppose to embrace change, but screw it. I'm too old.

Last week after tending to the man I live with, Mr. Coffee, I sat down at the computer to see what had transpired during the previous night. There it was. A NEW WELCOME screen on my homepage. I actually thought I had somehow logged into the wrong account, but as luck would have it, it was mine.

Seems my Internet provider, who shall remain nameless AND banned from my Christmas card list, decided to change it. Why? That's what I wanted to know. So I asked them.

"We listen to the people and give them what they want. And hope you are enjoying your NEW and IMPROVED welcome screen."


I said, "Change it back. I don't want it." The answer?

"We listen to our people and given the---"

"Listen to ME, I am the PEOPLE. I don't want it, change it back!" Answer?

"Ah...we can't."

"WHY NOT?" I asked.

"Ah...well, we don't have that capability. We hope you enjoy it and thank you for contactin---"

"Hold on buster. I cannot see the entire screen without scrolling back and forth. How do I make it smaller, can you at least tell me that?"

"Ah, well...not exactly. We don't have that capability either. But I want to thank yo--"

"Let me get this straight. You listened to the people, present self excluded, and they wanted a NEW and IMPROVED screen, so YOU changed everybody' still with me, bud?"

"Ah, yes, I'm here."

"K, and now you cannot change them back OR make them smaller because you believe the whole Internet universe has a wide screen. Zat bout it?"

"Pretty much. Except one thing."

"And that would be?"

"We want to thank you for contacting the help desk."

"Not at all. My pleasure. And may you get audited this year."

That started my day and it was downhill from there. Later as I was driving to a friend's house, I turned on my cell and... Guess what? ... youuuuuu got it!

I now have a NEW and IMPROVED message system on my cell phone that apparently the PEOPLE wanted. Now I get to totally reprogram the entire thing! Didn't ask for it. Didn't want it. But I got it. And of course it cannot be changed back.

I wish I didn't have so many PEOPLE looking out for me. Sigh...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm with ya Sistah! Nobody ASKED me if I wanted this new, improved and OVERLY HUGE screen - I just got it - like THEY know what I want....HAHAHAHAHAHA.....heck I hardly know what I want but I DO want to be ASKED! SO - I FEEL YOUR PAIN JAWJAW ..... yup..... doesn't change the fact we've STILL got the big welcome screen but at least we're suffering together right? Huh?


10:23 AM  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

The "people" they reference are the programming nerds on their staff and the few yutzes who have oversized computer monitors the size of home entertainment centers (helps 'em see through those coke-bottle lens they wear).

1:08 PM  

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