Saturday, June 12, 2010

Housework makes you tired

I stand in amazement at the number of friends who write to me on Saturday saying they are worn slap out from doing housework. I'm thinking, why?

First, it should be outlawed, period. Write to your Congressman/woman. They're all experts in DIRT.

Don't you know that once it's done, you have to do it over again the next week?

I feel for my buds. Obviously, they don't know about the shortcuts. Because I dooo what I cannn, (annoying, isn't it?) I'm going to offer to my fans (both of you), insider tips for housecleaning.

Tip #1: Ovens are large. They make them that way on purpose. One can fit three dirty skillets, two bread pans and if you center them just right, four casserole dishes inside the oven when company comes a callin' (like Mom).

Tip #2: Dust (and I can't believe they don't know this!) substitutes for sticky pads, or if the grandbeauties are there, Lego’s. You can build castles, birdhouses and if you practice on a weekly basis, it will be no time before you can boast about your Russell Crowe look-a-likes. Practice people! Practice!

Tip #3: Cleaning bathroom tubs, showers, and thrones. Why do you think God gave us children? If guilt doesn't work, threaten to show their latest "flame" pictures of them on a rug...naked. Experiment with different lines of threats. You'll be a master in no time. Just ask THE SON.

Tip #4: Laundry is a bit trickier. There's that dryer thingy, then folding and putting away. Whew! This can really bite into Saturday's Facebook time. So my tip is---just buy new clothes, problem solved.

Tip #5: Ironing. Only the rich wrinkle. Nuff said.

And of course, if all of the above fails...move.

Housework can make you tired and it's a nasty job (pun intended). But sommmmmebody's gotta do it--just not ME.

JJ- da Queen of Dust


Blogger Ruth said...

I couldn't have said it better! I have a magnet on my fridge for when company comes over. It says: I cleaned my house last week. Sorry you missed it!

8:59 AM  
Blogger Queen Jaw Jaw said...

OMG! I need one of those. The one I have says, "Housework is evil."

9:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear ya Queenie! Housework is not for weenies that's for's like waging war against dust/dirt/messy husbands. You put on "THE CLEANING OUTFIT" complete with gloves, scarf over the hair, apron (hahaha) and grab the bucket of weapons and hop on your horse - I mean broom - and head into the forces of evil, aka three floors of house to be cleaned! All kidding aside, I'm one of those weirdos who actually LIKES everything in its place - without the coating of dust - so Saturday morning cleaning is just one of those paying taxes.......


10:26 AM  
Blogger Queen Jaw Jaw said...

Ah...could we get a pix of you in that outfit complete with broom? I have this visual...

10:36 AM  
Blogger Chatty Lady said...

OMG! And I read this just after I cleaned all my tile floors and was resting with a stiff drink (V8 with a shot of beef bouillon) my feet up and wanting to die from exhaustion. Figured something out, lately I have had fewer and fewer guests or better yet no guests means no need for any cleaning. I have asked anyone wanting to see me to come to the pool where it is beautiful (and someone elses responsibility to keep clean,) sure bring the kids too. It's good to know I'm not the only one.

2:43 PM  

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