Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Top 5 Most Annoying Commercials

Every once in a while I need a rant. Here tis. Commercials annoy me. Like I need a car that can drive faster than I can sneeze? Or see a family of mucus doing the rumba in my throat?

However, if I listed every single commercial that annoys me, this blog would never end. So I narrowed it down to the "Top 5 Most Annoying Commercials" here in the Queendom.

Here they are listed one to five, with number FIVE being the big winner.


1. Swifter Duster - Somebody please fire that ad person. You're not funny, you're overpriced, and I have one word left for you. MUTE. This commercial makes my butt want to crochet barbwire. Nuff said.

2. Victoria's Secret - Here's the REAL secret. Out of the bazillion women in the world, 10 can wear your "stuff." The rest of us visit the store, find nothing fits our bodes, gag at the prices, and then go home and eat a box of Oreo's. I have one word for you and it's a special one. P-O-R-N. What's the difference in that and VS commercials? And now I'm making room for all of the comments from the bazillion men in the world.

3. Old Navy - The talking mannequin movie was done in the 70s. Get over it. I have one word for you. Done. Make that two. Boring. There are tons of ad people unemployed. Fine one that's hungry and dump the ones insisting we'll LOVE seeing more talking mannequin's using words like "bootie." Hell-O OLD NAVY! Old being the operative word here.

4. Musinex - Do I really have to tell you that the short, ugly, slimy, fat guy with the raspy voice WILL NOT, I repeat, WILL NOT make me rush out and buy your product? I have one word for you. Gross. Make that one, GROSS. Notice the all caps? Pay attention because you almost made it to number five which is the MOST ANNOYING.


5. Political Ads - I could write a thesis here. You call our homes all day with recorded messages AND after 7:00 at night, UNINVITED, and right in the middle of "Dancing with the Stars." This alone should get you jail time.

You invade our TV's, ad nauseam (pun intended), and you sling mud against your opponent thinking this will make YOU look all innocent-like. My kids used to try that one. Didn't work for them either.

Do you stop there? Are you KIDDING me?

You send mail giving us more "dirt" on your opponent, you blatantly campaign at funerals (Hey, why not? In some states, the dead vote anyway), and you actually stand on the highway waving at us as we go to work. Some call this "target practice." I'm just sayin'...

Listen up...we're tired of you. You have nothing new to say, no respect for the voter's intelligence, and you never tell us what YOU will do. What you give us is the standard lines of "more jobs, more industry for our states, then more mud slinging. This is older than the dust in my living room. Too bad I can't "Pledge" you away...Pledge. That's the word I have for you.

The Pledge of Allegiance...try reading it. Or the Constitution. Remember those?

Quite frankly, I would love to see you run away with the mop and the mannequin, in fancy underwear that rides up in places that never see sunshine, doing the rumba.

JJ - Feeling better already! Who made YOUR list?


Blogger Ann and Dennis said...

I agree with the political being the most annoying. I put on the mute button every single time.

But my number 4 would be for the lady that is devastated that she had to boil and reuse her catheter until she found such and such medical supply shop. I want to reach into the TV and put my hands around her neck and choke her until she turns purple. I would let go just before death, though. She surely isn't worth jail time.

Thanks for the laugh this morning.

8:54 AM  
Blogger Queen Jaw Jaw said...

Not only that, we don't wear stripes. I hear ya...there are SO many commercials that annoy us that I may do a part TWO!

9:04 AM  
Anonymous Eagle Heart said...

We don't get all of the same ads here in Canada as you do, but let me tell you that those American political ads are WAY more annoying when we don't even get to vote for any of them.

One ad that I always mute is the one for Oatmeal Crisp...there are series is where the father/husband keeps telling his family "but you won't like them", because he wants to keep the cereal all to himself. Another new series has the father lock himself in the car so the kids can't get to the cereal. Come on! What values does that teach our kids? And then why are we so surprised that greed is such a problem in the world today??? It all begins at home, at the breakfast table, with the cereal. I am passionately disgusted with the message this particular ad conveys and wouldn't eat Oatmeal Crisp if it were the last crumb on the face of the earth...I'd give it away to someone else, just to keep that toxic message from infecting me.

Rant over.

I think generally we have much more pleasant ads here...we got a taste of American advertising while in Vegas. That rat infestation one is pretty sickening...and the cockroach infestation too. Yuck. Okay, this is becoming a novel. Sorry...we should do a major discussion on this sometime.

9:11 AM  
Blogger Queen Jaw Jaw said...

The rat and insect ones give me the hippee, jeebees. I couldn't agree more. Say, what's the difference in the political ads and the insect ones? Bawwwhahahah...both need an EXTERMINATOR!

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh boy oh boy do I ever agree with you 150+% JJ....annoying is a NICE way to describe most commercials. I think we all have our "Top 5" but you've pretty much hit all of mine....maybe the ad people think that annoying the heck out of us makes us remember the products more when we're out shopping!? Whatever - commercials happen to be one the "Top 5" reasons I mostly watch PBS!! LOL


10:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the laugh. Needed it. I HATE ALL COMMERCIALS!!! On top of being an uninvited intrusion into my world, they up the volume to the point you have to cover your ears to protect them. We now keep the remote handy and immediately hit 'Mute'. I read an article once based on research of how commercials were a possible cause for attention disorders; children aren't used to holding a thought for longer than 15 minutes. Thank you also for the opportunity to vent.

12:08 PM  
Blogger Chatty Lady said...

JJ, I have to agree with you on these lousy commercials. How about the ones ewhere you never do know what the hell they are selling??? And the fact they all go up a couple of octaves so we don't miss a stupid word really stinks. I have worn out two mute buttons in two years! Ho humm!!!

7:44 PM  
Blogger Ruth said...

Political ads definitely make my list. But at least we have a reprieve for a month or two before the Presidential election ads start!

8:57 AM  
Blogger Sammie Sue Schwartz said...

It's not the commercials that make me grind my beak, it's Kathy Lee Gifford. A woman who is famous for irritating others, me included!

5:30 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

By far, my most hated commercial is the Oatmeal Crisp commercial with the revolting, greedy father in the car or under the floor. I could strangle him with pleasure.

I live in Windsor, ON, across from Detroit so am exposed to all the American political ads and hate them too

10:22 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home