Thursday, June 24, 2010

Why I failed Beauty School

Among the dreams I had as a youngster, being a beautician (do they call it that anymore?) was right at the top. My Barbie dolls suffered under my training and at one point in time, so did the dog.

By the time I finished giving the dolls a makeover, they closely resembled Soupy Sales...on drugs. Ken wouldn't come near them. Chicken poop.

I showed him. My next occupation was a surgeon. Let's just say Ken became known as Kenirita...bawwwhahaha. But that's another story for another time.

As my hairy exploration continued, our Collie, Ringo, didn't fare as well as the dolls. Ringo got the dye job. Mom and Dad didn't share my vision. I couldn't sit down for a month. Who knew the dye could last so long? Ringo did.

Personally, I thought having matching red hair was becoming. Daddy said the only thing "becoming" was my juvenile delinquent status.

With the dolls and dog off limits, where else to go for training but the sisters. I had four and their middle names were "gullible."

This is where that old adage, "Don't try this at home" could have really come in handy. Where are the wise ones when you need them?

I learned a lot in the summer of '58.

One, hair takes a long, long time to grow back. Two, if your customers are tied to a chair, they tend to scream. Stool pigeons.

Three, if those said screamers don't like the new look, they WILL complain to the management (Mom/Dad). This can result in having your hand-written Beauty School Certification torn off the bathroom wall.

Four, and this is important, neighbors tend to frown, LOUDLY, on using their little darlings as experiments customers.

And of course, five is...nothing, not even a good old-fashion whoopin' can turn off a creative mind.

I moved on to dentistry. Some day the "gullibles" may even thank me.

JJ--the occupational hazard


Anonymous Anonymous said...

HA! Well, it sounds to me like you were just a little ahead of your time on the beauty school thing JJ....just think - nowadays bright green hair and 1/4" buzz cuts (on girls) are VERY popular! As for dentistry - - I don't like where my imagination takes me when I think about you working on teeth. EEEEEK!


8:45 AM  
Anonymous Anne said...

JJ, you moved on to dentistry?

What a dramatic place to end your post! I can only imagine what comes next... You'll have to give us a follow-up with the details. Otherwise, I'm left playing with concepts like this:

(A) You you tried brushing the dog's teeth with Colgate?

(B) You helped the neighbor kids get their slightly loose teeth to come out so they could make a few bucks on the tooth fairy? Maybe by tying one end of a string around the tooth and the other to a door handle...

(C) You pretended your gullible sisters had braces by hooking rubber bands around their teeth?

The possibilities are endless. The mind plays tricks...


4:41 PM  
Blogger Queen Jaw Jaw said...

Girls, thanks for weighing in on my career choices. You are so right Pam, I was a visionary, come to think of it. And Anne, we actually DID the rubber bands on our teeth thing. Did you? We thought it was so cool!

5:46 PM  
Blogger Ruth said...

I'm so glad I wasn't your sister, JJ! Well, maybe the hair color thing, but definitely NOT the teeth! Thanks for keeping me laughing.

7:46 PM  
Blogger Queen Jaw Jaw said...

Yeah, but think of all the stories you would have to tell! Besides, you are my sistah...virtually.

8:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just glad you chose dentistry and not gynocology. Wait, did I say that?


3:29 PM  
Blogger Queen Jaw Jaw said...

Yeah, out loud, too. BAWWWHAHAHA!

4:07 PM  

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