Sammie, da Burd

I've been chastised---and by a burd, no less.

Sammie, a feathered friend living in Arizona, said I never mention her anymore. There's a good reason for that.

Sammie is...or can be, funnier than me. Da Queen don't do "funnier than me." Seems she's learned the mastery of mock. She can sound like the owner's dog Max, the owners themselves, and dare I say it, impersonate bodily functions better than the movie Porkies...if you get my drift.

Sam's house is always jumping. Just when her owners think it's safe to relax, there comes a voice identical to the hubby that says something like, "OMG! Did you do that? What the devil did you eat? You're sick, you know that?" And the fight is on.

Hubby and wifey don't speak for a week. Her pleading her innocents, Sammie suppressing giggles and looking like "Whatttt?"

If company calls, look out. Just when Mommy thinks she's got the guest fooled into thinking she slaved all day over a hot stove and cleaning house, here comes the stool perch pigeon matching her own voice with, "Glad you liked dinner. It was catered and by the way, I have a maid. You know, those pants really DO make your butt look big."

If this wasn't enough, Sammie barks just like their dog Max. Try sleeping with barking going on round the clock. Max spends most days in "time out" and thinking about eating a burd...

Doorbells, no problem. Mommy has learned to just sit tight until she hears banging on the door. Thennnnn...she gets up to answer it.

When the FedEx man enters wearing his uniform shorts, Sammie whistles a woof call. Try explaining that it wasn't YOU...it was a bird. Uh huh, sure babe says the FedEx man as he leaves you with a wink.

New neighbors drop by to introduce themselves and bearing yummy food, Sammie comes out with, "You expect us to eat THAT crap?!!"

You gotta luv Sammie's sense of humor...and timing. However, if I were Sammie Da Burd, I would listen very carefully when Mommy whispers to Daddy about serving up "Sammie Da Sandwich." I'm just saying...

JJ - With da wurd on da burd.

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